Today was a trying day. I don't know, for some reason since last night, I've been pretty much in tears. Mood swing? I don't know. Maybe my body just has excess water it needed to get rid of, hahaha. Regardless, it did not help me to feel good today. I hope it goes away by tomorrow. I don't like feeling sad, and I have no reason to feel that way. Maybe it was just a case of winter blues.
I had a dentist appointment today that I didn't know of until my dentist called fifteen minutes after my appointment was supposed to be. After much hassle trying to get it fix, I went on because they would be able to take me. There, they discovered I have a small cavity on one of my left side, bottom back teeth. This is the first cavity I've ever had. I really can't believe this. I take really good care of my teeth for this exact reason. So on the 19th of this month I get to go get my first filling. Joy. Not something to brighten my day.
When I got home, my sister's boyfriend was over. Long story short, he's over every day for almost all day. Maybe I make a bigger deal about this then I should, but I don't think it's too much to ask for to have time at home with just my family. I'm not trying to seem hypocritical, because I know I spend a lot of time with Drew and I would like him to be over as much as Edward is. It just seems like I'm replaced when he is over. I don't mean to sound petty about this. Like I said, maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. I just want to be able to be myself in my own home. They take over the tv/downstairs the entire time he's here. So I'm forced to either awkwardly sit down there with them (that's if there's somewhere for me to sit because they take up the entire couch) or stay upstairs like a prisoner. If I'm being ridiculous, someone tell me. To a point, I probably am. I've had a talk with my parents and sister about this, that maybe they could limit the time they spend at our house by either going out more or staying at his house. My parents say that he is over a little too much, but nothing has been done about it. Oh well, I'll be back at school soon and I won't have to endure it, except the weekends I come home, when I know he'll be there.....
I don't like, nor do I want to be a mean person. I feel childish for feeling this way about someone. I like to think that I'm becoming a mature adult and can handle things rationally. I've started to say a prayer to God asking for patience every time I start feeling agitated. I really don't give over my troubles to God as much as I should. I'm stubborn and try to fix things myself and stay stuck in my ways. This never gets me anywhere. God wants me to be a shining light for him. If I act rudely or mean, I'm not a shining light for God. This year, I hope to further strengthen my relationship with God by trusting Him more and giving over my troubles to Him.
I guess this is a good thing about a blog. Whether someone reads this or not, I'm able to get my feelings out. I'm actually feeling a lot better now just typing out what's been going on in my mind all day. I appreciate all the people in my life that listen to me in person anytime I need someone. I'm truly blessed, which is something I should remember the next time I'm feeling down.
Sneezy
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