Mama said there'd be days like this

Today was a trying day. I don't know, for some reason since last night, I've been pretty much in tears. Mood swing? I don't know. Maybe my body just has excess water it needed to get rid of, hahaha. Regardless, it did not help me to feel good today. I hope it goes away by tomorrow. I don't like feeling sad, and I have no reason to feel that way. Maybe it was just a case of winter blues.

I had a dentist appointment today that I didn't know of until my dentist called fifteen minutes after my appointment was supposed to be. After much hassle trying to get it fix, I went on because they would be able to take me. There, they discovered I have a small cavity on one of my left side, bottom back teeth. This is the first cavity I've ever had. I really can't believe this. I take really good care of my teeth for this exact reason. So on the 19th of this month I get to go get my first filling. Joy. Not something to brighten my day.

When I got home, my sister's boyfriend was over. Long story short, he's over every day for almost all day. Maybe I make a bigger deal about this then I should, but I don't think it's too much to ask for to have time at home with just my family. I'm not trying to seem hypocritical, because I know I spend a lot of time with Drew and I would like him to be over as much as Edward is. It just seems like I'm replaced when he is over. I don't mean to sound petty about this. Like I said, maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. I just want to be able to be myself in my own home. They take over the tv/downstairs the entire time he's here. So I'm forced to either awkwardly sit down there with them (that's if there's somewhere for me to sit because they take up the entire couch) or stay upstairs like a prisoner. If I'm being ridiculous, someone tell me. To a point, I probably am. I've had a talk with my parents and sister about this, that maybe they could limit the time they spend at our house by either going out more or staying at his house. My parents say that he is over a little too much, but nothing has been done about it. Oh well, I'll be back at school soon and I won't have to endure it, except the weekends I come home, when I know he'll be there.....

I don't like, nor do I want to be a mean person. I feel childish for feeling this way about someone. I like to think that I'm becoming a mature adult and can handle things rationally. I've started to say a prayer to God asking for patience every time I start feeling agitated. I really don't give over my troubles to God as much as I should. I'm stubborn and try to fix things myself and stay stuck in my ways. This never gets me anywhere. God wants me to be a shining light for him. If I act rudely or mean, I'm not a shining light for God. This year, I hope to further strengthen my relationship with God by trusting Him more and giving over my troubles to Him.

I guess this is a good thing about a blog. Whether someone reads this or not, I'm able to get my feelings out. I'm actually feeling a lot better now just typing out what's been going on in my mind all day. I appreciate all the people in my life that listen to me in person anytime I need someone. I'm truly blessed, which is something I should remember the next time I'm feeling down.

Sneezy

Luckily, I called ahead and got a table beside the mayonnaise

Happy New Year! I had the most wonderful New Year, ringing it in with my wonderful boyfriend and his family. We had so much fun together!

I had a great day today getting to see some of my best friends that I met on my Europe trip this past summer! We went to Hanes Mall and shopped around and ate dinner together. It was nice to catch up with what's going on in every one's lives and talk about teaching. And of course all of our hilarious stories from Europe!

I'm a little anxious about the coming semester, but also very excited. I'll be taking 19 credit hours, which I've done before. I'm just worried about getting everything done along with all the teaching I'll be doing next semester. I'll have my internship for MUS 367B and teaching clarinet sectionals at a local HS every Friday. There's also the possibility that I'll be teaching lessons at another HS in Randolph County, and I signed up to teach private lessons through CMENC at a school they are creating to teach at. So busy, busy, busy! But it will be good for me. I've just got to trust that the Lord will bring me through it! Did I mention I also am giving a recital this semester? Scary. Again, I'll get through with God's help.....and a lot of practice!

The new year makes me think a lot about what's coming up. I'm scared about a few things, but I realize God has a plan, regardless of what I want to happen. It's like Drew said in his blog, all we have to do is hand over our lives to God, and he'll take care of us. God won't fulfil His plan for us unless we give ourselves over to Him. That means trusting Him completely, even if we don't understand. God has blessed my life tremendously, all my life. I have no reason to doubt that he will continue to do so.

Well, that's my little ramble for the night. Tomorrow needs to be a productive day so that I'll be ready when school starts back next week. Le sigh. I'm ready to be back for many reasons, but it is always nice to be at home. Anyways, enjoy this funny bunny picture in honor of my haunny baunnies!

Sneezy